It's been two years now, ammu. I did not write to you since March 2024. But you are there in my thoughts every day! Every time I talk to aunty or text Murugan or meet Amala papa, you are there everywhere.
Since I had not written to you so long, I realized I did not write to anyone for that matter. It has always been between us to exchange 'N' number of letters. Whenever I visit Chennai, the railway stations remind me of you. Whenever I recall those days, I wish I had spent some more time with you. I wish I we had travelled even more on those trains. Those platforms look empty without you. Oh god, can we go back to those days!
You were a great listener. Today was one among many days when I felt that you were missed to share about what I went through. You were never judgmental. I was blessed to have you around. Yet I regret not understanding it completely.
Whenever I visit aunty and uncle, I am reminded of you persuading me to stay in your house. You in fact told me once that your home had a fish tank assuming that I would like it and stay overnight. Unfortunately, I never got a chance to spend night in your room. Today, that living room of yours has a large portrait which I cannot take my eyes off from or sometimes do not want to look at. I never thought such a day would come in our lives. I miss you terribly Mahe. I really hope you are safe somewhere out there, watching all this and listening to all that we speak about you in your absence.
Had we known this fate before, we would have hugged more, kissed more and wrote each other more. Though we all moved on with our lives from the day you left us, do know that this akka, like many out here, misses you!
I still remember the way you told me to buy chocolates for Laali (I did. Had you not told me, I would not have done so) and I also remember that I had shared several times with you that I did not hug her during our first meet. Life did not give me a chance to do it again. How unlucky I am!
Love you Mahe!
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